Do you want to be a better person? Maybe better your relationships with friends and family? First, don’t feel bad about yourself for making errors in life-no one is perfect. The world is filled with good and bad people, and everyone in between. It’s no secret that everyone has room to grow, and that’s why I have listed some helpful tips to help you better yourself and your relationships.

1. Honesty is the best policy

I think it’s safe to say that no one feels good when they lie. When a person lies, they know that what they’ve done is wrong and the guilt can eat them up from the inside. Then, it’s humiliating to have to apologize and admit your fault. So, try not to lie. Honesty helps build trust. When you make a mistake, which is natural, don’t deny it. That only makes the situation worse and trust is broken. Trust is a fragile thing that takes lots of time and care to build, and with just lying, the trust you have built with a person is now gone, and that person will have to be cautious around you, thinking that you might hurt them again. So just be honest, even when it’s humiliating. It’s worth keeping a relationship alive just by being honest. Here’s a secret-most of the time, people are more likely to forgive you if you are honest about something that happened. They are more likely to focus on your honesty and appreciate it before getting angry about the situation itself.

2. Control your anger and your mouth

Personally, I know what it’s like to be the victim of unleashed anger, and it’s not pleasant. If you are also a victim of those who lash out with harsh words, try to stay calm. Control your tongue and evaluate the situation, if you can, try to diffuse the other persons anger with thoughtful word choices. If the tables have turned and you are the angry person in the situation, try not to punish people with your words and frustration. Always think before you speak, and that will help prevent you from hurting someone’s feelings. Most of the time, no one purposely wants to hurt someone they love, so just try to be considerate with your words and actions.

Nicole Villalobos, an ERHS junior, says that even when a person has not always been the nicest to you, for example, they blame you for everything wrong and the unleash their anger at you, it’s still a good idea to try to be kind to them. Villalobos says, “Having an understanding of other people’s feelings, thoughts, and personality will help [the situation].” As well as always, “Being able to be an overall helpful and friendly person to others” is important, even when that person hasn’t treated you kindly.

3. Be a positive example

If you’re anything like me, you have a lot of younger kids looking up to you. I am the youngest child of eight and I currently have 19 nieces and nephews. That’s a lot of young family members that may look up to me as a role model and as an example of a proper young lady. So it’s important to carry yourself with care. Don’t abuse your body with unnecessary toxins and protect yourself from harmful influences, especially if you have a young cousin, niece, or brother that is looking up to you, because the last thing you would want to do is negatively influence that younger family member by your actions. By carrying yourself with dignity and honor, you are more likely to receive respect in return, which will in turn, build a stronger relationship with people you care about.

4. Be willing to make positive changes in your life

The way that change begins is when a person is willing to acknowledge their faults, and when they are willing to change for the better. So be open to change. Swallow your pride and humble yourself. Ask family members and friends in what specific ways you can improve, whether it be attitude, performing certain tasks, positivity, and even your morals or goals. But know this, no one is perfect, but positive change always starts with acknowledging your faults and genuinely working hard to better yourself.

5. Go out of your way to help and give back to people

Volunteering at local events is a great way to build your self esteem and help those in need. If you donate old clothes to a homeless shelter, think of how many people will finally have a “new” shirt or “new” pair of pants to wear. If you’re feeling really generous, go out and buy food for the homeless around your community, or give them money to go buy food or clothes. You can even volunteer to participate in a fundraiser. On April 14, 2019, the famous cosmetic brand, Mary Kay, will be hosting a 5K race at Eastvale Community Park to help end women’s suffering from cancer and domestic abuse, a perfect volunteering opportunity for a great cause. Fun fact: my family and I will be active participators in this year’s race.

Natali Tlilayatzi, ERHS junior, says that she maintains healthy relationships by giving her “friends and family the hard truth when they ask for it,” meaning that, coming from a place of love, Tlilayatzi helps her friends and family better themselves with genuine advice when they ask the hard questions. She also said that her secret to keeping healthy relationships is that “it’s key to always keep in communication with one another and respect that person with what they do and [to give] them your best support.”

Please remember that everyone makes mistakes and falls short, but the key to improvement is to try your best to make positive changes in your life. Possibly starting with controlling your tongue, watching your anger, striving to maintain honesty, being there for loved ones, and trying to give back to those in your community. All of these tips are just a few ways to try to improve and better yourself, which will likely result in healthier and stronger relationships with those around you.